FATHER-HOOD IS A BLESSING
BY
REV. FR. HENRY OPARA
In the Leader’s edition for the celebration of the mother’s day (April 16, 2023), my topic was Mothers as Treasures Beyond Measure. Ordinarily my mind was like, addressing the Fathers here as Treasures Beyond Measure Plus. This is so because the mere mention of a mother reminds one of a father. Even the Scripture has it that he who created them made them male and female. ‘’Jesus replied, have you not read that in the beginning the Creator made them male and female?”(Mtt.19:4)
The Church in her wisdom created the fathers’ day, a day set aside to thank God for the wondrous gifts in our Fathers and to appreciate them for the God given vocation. Pope Francis re-establishes the place of the Fathers in the family in relationship with the mothers:’ A Mother who watches over her child with tenderness and compassion helps him or her to grow in confidence and to experience that the world is a good and welcoming place. This helps the child to grow in self-esteem and, in turn, to develop a capacity for intimacy and empathy. A father, for his part, helps the child to perceive the limits of life, to be open to the challenges of the wider world, and to see the need for hard work and strenuous effort. A father possessed of a clear and serene masculine identity who demonstrates affection and concern for his wife is just as necessary as a caring mother. There can be a certain flexibility of roles and responsibilities, depending on the concrete circumstances of each particular family. But the clear and well- defined presence of both figures, female and male, creates the environment best suited to the growth of the child’.
Fathers have their place. God endowed them with necessary grace. St. Bernadine once said, ‘when divine grace selects someone to receive a particular grace, or some especially favoured position, all the gifts for his state are given to that person, and enrich him abundantly.’ They are known as pillars of the family. In contemporary society, many women contribute immensely to the welfare of the families. God also bless men through the presence of St Joseph-who becomes the role model for all men. According to Blessed William Joseph Chaminade ’The Eternal Father shares with St Joseph the authority which he has over the incarnate word, just as God shared with Adam his authority over creature’. All fathers have their special place like St Joseph.
To be a father is a thing of pride though laden with its own demands. My mind recalls the instance of Eleazar who was forced to disobey his belief but he took the part of honour (cf.2Mac. 6: 18-19). This is a good and practical example of a Father. A father who leads and directs should maintain impeccable character and strong will. Donald H. Kuhn opines” Effective leaders inspire others by the truthfulness with which the reveal their values through what they say and what they do, and by making clear why they do it. To be sure, these are not easy tasks, especially for the Christian leader whose values are often at variance with those of the world”. This is so necessary because of the amount of influence a father brings to the home and environment. His presence marks the presence of an authority figure. Everybody including the wife and children play with caution and respect.
Though, it is advisable for the father to play this role with certain degree of friendliness. Experience has shown that when a father plays this role with sense of love, care and humility, the resultant effect is often more fruitful. When a child sees the father as a friend less than an authority, he or she tends to be more open and builds more confidence on him. There is no gainsaying the fact that good number of Children with this experience will opt for their father over their mother. Cases of this nature abound in our society. The Catholic Secretariat of Nigeria in the 2021 Family week booklet re-echoes:” A good father is the pillar in the home. The presence of a father provides numerous positive benefits to the children both tangible and intangible.
In addition to providing the sense of direction, identity and purpose, Fathers naturally serve as role models to their children especially the boys. Fathers are the imitation figures for their sons”. Every child has the image of the father’s imprints. For instance, I owe my passion and interest for academic excellence from my Father.
Furthermore, the boys under his care pay great attention to him. The father should be conscious of this phenomenon. They watch him in his manner of approach towards the management of the family and every event around the vicinity. The girls are not left out too. She watches you, as a man attains to their mother. For them, at that early stage, this reflects the totality of the experience of marriage. For example, ask the girl child, will you like to marry a man like your Dad as a husband? C.P. Varkey maintained” if a father is not a mature person and does not manifest (manly)qualities the boy is deprived of this unique opportunity that nature provides for his development. Similarly the girl identifies herself with the mother. Father’s love and admiration for his daughter help the girl to discover her feminine identity. What a child becomes in future is determined to a great extent by what his parents are to himself and to each other”.
Fatherhood has different dimensions. Some acquire it through direct biological circumstances; others acquire theirs through social dimension like sponsorship, adoption and other forms of tutelage. We have also the spiritual dimension of fatherhood. This last dimension hovers around our faith journey. We have our relationship with God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. St Joseph is inclusive. The Priests and our baptismal Fathers are all included in this category. Pope Francis directs “Fathers are not born, but made. A man does not become a father simply by bringing a child into the world, but by taking up the responsibility for the life of another, in some way he becomes a father to that person.”
In conclusion, psychologist has proven that the place of the father-figure in our families cannot be over emphasized. It pays as a father to see those under your care grow to maturity, self dependence and fruition.
Just be conscious, that the human race needs your presence for her development and that of the larger society. As the child Jesus experience the tender loving presence of God through St. Joseph, may you (Fathers) continue to be a source of inspiration and love of God the Father. That is the hall mark of a father. That is where you find your essence and relevance. May (mothers and Children) minimize the burdens of our Fathers through encouragement, love and care.
Fr Henry Opara
Parish Priest,
St Anthony’s Catholic Parish Ohekelem
